


pyrrhic

by idolatry (bellmare)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 04:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4421564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellmare/pseuds/idolatry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nietzsche has no place in the field.<br/>-- Rui, Lavi, and making things too personal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pyrrhic

"Your nose is bleeding."

Lavi thinks about snorting, then decides against it. "Well thanks, I had no idea."

"Mmmm, okay, let me rephrase." The witch blinks up at him, narrowing his eyes. "Your nose is bleeding. Onto my face. C'mon, man, that's so gross, go wipe it or something."

"What, and let you go so you can try burning my face off again? Think again, buddy."

The witch spreads his hands, raising his shoulders slightly. The bones and tendons of his wrists shift beneath Lavi's fingers. If Lavi concentrates, he can feel the witch's pulse, a lazy, quiet beat under his hands. "Whatever, man. Look, are you gonna be okay?"

Lavi shrugs. "I guess. Evocation isn't what it's cracked up to be, y'know? Shit happens."

"Yeah, sure. Shit happens and you're dripping gunky blood snot onto my face. You can't've been doing this long, if evocation still does that to you."

"None of your business," Lavi snaps, bristling. "What do you know, anyway?"

The witch's eyes glint, green-gold in the glow of the streetlights. "Enough. Enough to know that you guys shouldn't be dabbling in that sorta shit. Tell that to the Overseer."

"Uh, no, shut up. It's the only way we'd be able to take things like you down, anyway. Nothing personal."

"... nothing personal." The witch tests the phrase, rolling the syllables over his tongue. "Y'know, for someone who gets all fired up pretty easily, you're kinda cold." He blinks lazily, considering. "Ashina," he says at last. 

Lavi stares down at him. "Uh. Gesundheit?"

"It's my name, asshat! There, see, it's personal now. You know my name. You know my _face_. Hell, _I_ know your face, though maybe I won't be able to recognise you when you're not all bruised and bloody--"

"Whose fault is that?!"

Ashina continues as though Lavi hasn't said anything. Dick. "--so, y'know, it'd be cool if you stopped calling me FF-416. Now tell me yours, then we're even."

Lavi opens his mouth. Shuts it. For some reason, he suspects Ashina would keep hounding him even if he doesn't answer. "Laevateinn."

Ashina's brows raise. "Wow, they give you guys some really weird names, huh? Man, I've heard about you asura squads. A very smart guy said something about that sorta thing once. Something something, you have to become a monster to hunt monsters. Blah, blah, blah."

"'He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster'," Lavi says drily. "'And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you'."

"Seems like you missed out on the memo," Ashina observes. "So, how're you liking it?" He waggles his eyebrows, a shit-eating smile spreading across his face. 

Lavi bares his teeth in a grin. "This abyss likes to run his mouth?"

Ashina barks out a laugh, suddenly harsh and sharp and mirthless. "I didn't mean that. I mean the other things. The abyss inside  _you_. It's one thing to bind a karma demon to a witch. It's another when you start messing with humans and expecting the same results. You can't  _manufacture_  resilience, not like they manufactured you. No, you just get devoured from the inside out." 

He curls his fingers into fists, the skin along his knuckles stretching taut. "... and then eventually, you go berserk."

.

Val finds him sitting on a park bench, legs sprawled out before him. 

"Lavi," she says, almost gently. "Are you all right?"

"Peachy." He rubs gingerly at the crook of his arm. "Got any more--?"

"Sorry." Val averts her eyes and Lavi remembers, belatedly, what happened to her last squad. "Sorry," he mumbles. She hesitates, then sits down beside him. 

"Are you sure you're okay? We really should get back, if you're that ... if you're not feeling too good."

"'m fine."

"You shouldn't've returned to the field so soon."

"Nnnnnnah, I guess not." He slouches further in his seat, almost sliding off the bench. "Don't say I told you so; I don't think I can deal with more of those tonight."

"I see." The silence stretches between them, falling like snowdrifts. On her lap, Val's fingers lace and unlace. "What happened?" she asks.

Lavi swallows, absently running his fingers over his arm. He thinks about what Ashina said; about what happened to Val's old teammates. "Nothing," he replies. 

.

Cero speaks up only once Lavi's gone to bed. 

_I saw you, y'know._

Lavi stops midway through flipping his pillow over. "What?"

_With that witch. FF-416. You let him go. How curious._ I'm _curious._

"Well, tough. C'mon, man, I'm tired. Y'know, you really have a knack with timing. I was just about to fall asleep."

_Lies and slander! You were tossing about like a pinball._

"Please stop watching me sleep."

_Hey, it's not like I want to. Besides, you're no Sleeping Beauty either, Lavs. Did anyone tell you that you make weird faces in your sleep? You always do that weird rubbery thing. It's kinda funny, actually. Maybe I'll ask Frei to record you._

"Stop changing the subject!"

_Wow, someone's on the wrong side of the bed. So. What are you gonna put in your report?_

"... are you blackmailing me? First you wake me up, then you change the subject, and now you're blackmailing me?"

_I dunno. You tell me._

Lavi rolls over and kicks the blankets off with more force than necessary. "It was inconvenient for me to continue, all right? I was out of suppressants. If I'd pushed on, Val would've been on cleanup--"

_But the BWC can always build more. And, well, Val's a tough cookie. She's done that sorta thing before._

"Cero, what the hell, how can you say something like that? Would you be so casual about it if you had to kill Seis, too?! If they just summoned some other demon to take her place?! It wouldn't be the same!"

The silence buzzes in Lavi's ears; his feet start to feel cold again, so he busies himself with trying to kick the blankets back on.

_... that's neither here nor there,_  Cero replies, no longer sounding amused. _Pipe down, or you'll wake the others._

"Look, just because Val's done it before doesn't mean I wanna have that on my conscience! ... or what's left of it at that point, anyway. Look, he said some stuff that really got to me, and when I thought about it, I didn't want to die, and I didn't want Val to have to kill me, end of story."

Cero's quiet for a long time -- so long, that Lavi almost falls asleep again.

_For what it's worth, I think you made the right choice._


End file.
